Pages of my Life

Pages of my life—archived and new!

It is like an old family album and the stories behind every pose, every smirk and every true grin.
It is also like opening a new book, smelling of crispy paper.

This had to happen. But why did I let it be?

Maybe because Hope is never archived.

the list

leg wax. mani-pedi.
new colorstay lip stain.
charge camera.
don't max out credit card.
new black dress. (#17)
dangly earrings.
only salad. no soda (soda bloats.)
dkny Be Delicious - For Her.
round hairbrush for singing.
The World is Mine.
paddle hairbrush for brushing.
practice five-second semi-demure stare.
red wine to squash flutterbyes.

The Uptown 6

Three pennies.
A small pencil.
A red umbrella with watermelons printed on it.
Two keys on a key chain.
A white hamster.
A cell phone.
A broken locket.
A baby.

She stared at the bizarre collection of images, bemused.

New York City Subway Lost and Found

She wondered if she could get her virginity back.

soundtrack

As she watched him walk out of the door, she heard the last few strains of 'their song' drift in from the neighbor's radio. She smiled bitterly through her tears, remembering when she had said to him, bathing in the afterglow, "I wish my life was a movie, just so that the music would play."

wonderland

She blew smoke rings at him and proclaimed that she felt like Alice's catterpillar. He laughed at her childishness and blew a smoke ring back at her. Glancing at the skull on the pack, she wondered if catterpillars got cancer. Then he blew one ring through another, and laughing delightedly, she forgot all about it.

Daily Planner: Year 2007

Daily Planner: Year 2007

September 6th, Thursday
Things to do today:
1. Get up
2. Survive
3. Go back to bed

September 7th, Friday
Things to do today:
1. Get up
2. Survive
3. Go back to bed

September 8th, Saturday
Things to do today:
1. Get up
2. Survive
3. Go back to bed

cigarettes and love

He smokes Marlboros. The first cigarette she ever smoked was a Benson and Hedges - Special Filter. So was the last. He kissed her after every cigarette. He said he loved the taste of cigarettes and her grape lip balm. He still smokes Marlboros. It probably wouldn't have worked anyway. The brands were all wrong.

new

New house, new room.
"New experience," they said, "learning new things is good."

New place, new people.
Hellos, goodbyes and high-pitched giggles.
"Did you just get in? Oh! Me too!"

New clothes, new shoes.
Itchy new labels and new band-aids on new blisters.

I miss Old. I wonder if it misses me too.

An almost imperceptable nod.

Suddenly, it was as if he could feel his dignity shrivel up inside of him and scurry away in disgust. He felt the almost hysterical laughter choke in his throat as he glanced down at his hands with a defeated sigh.

Three little words --- that's all it took.

"Hold my purse."

(apologies.. updates have been long pending...)

"There's someone else."

Three little words --- that's all it took.

It had been far too placid, she decided. She had expected fireworks but all she was left with was an odd sense of detachment.

She stared at herself in the mirror, bemused.
Nothing to mark that she was not the person she had been yesterday.