shit. finally.

Finally.

After all the complaining, whining, nit-picking, thinking, grumbling, over criticizing, rethinking, hair splitting and denouncing.

After all the quarter-life crisis’s, the ends of the world and the manic depression. After all the mood swings and emotional roller coasters.

After all that messed up nonsense, I’ve finally figured - I am completely incapable of happiness.

Shit.

water people

The person you love is 74.8% water

Think about it. More than half of the person you cannot live without, is made up of a colourless, tasteless liquid. More than half is something that is so common, it’s hard to see why you love them. And more than half is something we take for granted.

yeah

Have you ever walked down the street, staring pointlessly at the nearly-melting tar road, hoping and praying that a big, freakish bolt of lightening would just strike you, singeing you to the bone, just so you don’t have to walk another step or live another minute of this crappy existence you call a life?

Yeah.

insight

“I hate the way my life is turning out…you know?” she says, looking down, fidgeting with the food on her plate. “I feel so tired and old… It’s annoying…” she looks up at him across the table.

He smiles and says, “Yea I know…”

She smiles and thinks, “He’s sweet”

He smiles and thinks, “PMS...”

Lies XIII

"Oh yeah, amma. Such fun we're having."

"No, no dont worry about that. Ram cooks excellently."

"Oh, the sound? Some friends have come over. That's all."

"Oh." "No, no. I have to go myself. The guys are calling me."

"Ok. B'bye."

He switched the TV off and faced the silence. Darkness can hide some things.

Lies XII – non fiction.

Just out of a meeting, she rushes back to check the next 55 fun story that must have been posted.

On her desk she stares at the long to-do list in her planner. Thinks of the post-lunch deadline.

Smirking, closes the planner, opens the word document and starts her response to lies XI – non fiction.

lies XI - non-fiction

He passes by her desk. She shuts the document she was typing in.

“You working on those lines, I hope.”

“Yea, I have options, I will share them with you post-lunch?”

“Yea, Lets finish it…” he mutters as he walks away.

She surreptitiously opens the word document, and continues to type another 55 fiction story.

truth vs lies

“How long has it been?”

“How long has what been?”

“Since you got laid…”

“Three years…”

“What? We gotta find you some chicks, dude!”

“Err, yea, here’s the thing… I’m gay …”

“Gay? Really…”

“This won’t affect our friendship, right?”

“Huh? Dude… of course not…” he says, as he scratches the back of his neck.

Lies X

"Hello. its me. I wont be able to make it to work today. Feeling a little feverish, and will be sleeping all day. My phone might be switched off." Click. That was easy.

Then he straightens his tie, picks up the folder, checks his CV for the last time and steps out of his door.

Lies IX

“Have you had jalebis on the morning walk?”
No. In fact, I completed 5 laps as the doctor said.

The grey shawl tore along the dried sugar syrup.
--------------------------------------------------------------
And I love you so.
Really?
I seek you with all my being and soul.
Wow!
Of course, I can’t violate you. Only if you wish…

Lies VIII

You said that am quite a woman and that you wish to see me eternally happy.
“What? Don’t you delete old messages?”
“No but don’t worry your wife’ll never see them.”
“It’s not about that.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
“I can’t get home for dinner tonight. I have a meeting.”

And then he held her hand and said “Honey!”

Lies VII

“Have you had the medicines?”
“Yes Maa.”

“Hope you are not smoking!”
“No way. I threw them last week.”

A ring of smoke touched her nose and vanished gradually in the air above. And a crumpled piece of smelly hospital paper topped the heap in the basket at her feet.

The night gradually gave way.

Lies VI

“He watches over us all? Really?”

“Yeah. From up there. To see to it that nothing bad happens to good people.”

“But, how does he know who’s good?”

“He knows everything, honey.”

“So dad died cos he was bad?”

“Course not. There’s some great big plan, sweets. Somewhere. You won't understand it. Only He does.”

lies V

“So, how long has it been, man?”

“How long has what been?”

“Oh, come on, since you got laid, dude”

“Oh that... hah, like, three days ago, dude…”

“Really? Sweet! Who was she?”

“She...yea...she was this damn hot chick from this club...Great legs. Was all over me – couldn’t fight it man. Couldn’t fight it.”

Lies IV

“So, see, the thing is, I don’t really need anyone. Because I’m strong. My mother, she like totally needed men. It was her generation, y’know. I totally empathize. But for me. Nah! I don’t need anyone. Really. I’m independent. And poor things, most of my friends, they have someone. I’m single. The lucky one.”

Sigh!

lies III

They sit in a park, watching kids play.
She looks endearingly at him. He looks fascinated, at the children.

Without looking at her, he says, “I want to have a bunch of them, someday.”

Her hand wanders over the flat stomach she took years to attain.

Still looking at him she says, “Yeah. Me too.”

lies II

“She's a wonderful person. Hardworking, intelligent…"- I said to him – "She is one of those people who's really dedicated to what she's doing. She's good that way, I think."

His eyes continued to watch her as she walked down the corridor - "Yeah, she's got great breasts too…"

"Really?" I said questioningly, "I hadn't noticed."

lies- I

So what if we are colleagues?
It’s not that bad, really.

So what if we’ve had a past, but don’t have a future?
It’s not that bad, really.

So, we’ve made love? So what if you don’t look at me anymore.

So what, if whenever you walk by, I crumble?

It’s not that bad. Really.