Finally.
After all the complaining, whining, nit-picking, thinking, grumbling, over criticizing, rethinking, hair splitting and denouncing.
After all the quarter-life crisis’s, the ends of the world and the manic depression. After all the mood swings and emotional roller coasters.
After all that messed up nonsense, I’ve finally figured - I am completely incapable of happiness.
Shit.
Showing posts with label spazsim chasm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spazsim chasm. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
water people
The person you love is 74.8% water
Think about it. More than half of the person you cannot live without, is made up of a colourless, tasteless liquid. More than half is something that is so common, it’s hard to see why you love them. And more than half is something we take for granted.
Think about it. More than half of the person you cannot live without, is made up of a colourless, tasteless liquid. More than half is something that is so common, it’s hard to see why you love them. And more than half is something we take for granted.
Friday, May 11, 2007
yeah
Have you ever walked down the street, staring pointlessly at the nearly-melting tar road, hoping and praying that a big, freakish bolt of lightening would just strike you, singeing you to the bone, just so you don’t have to walk another step or live another minute of this crappy existence you call a life?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Monday, March 19, 2007
assumptions
She sat across me in the train. I scrutinized her- Pitiful, thirty-five going on sixty.
I envisioned her slogging over a fire in some chawl.
Slaving for a heartless man and ungrateful children…
Her phone rang. In perfect English, she said she was on her way for the meeting.
Suddenly, I was even more pitiful.
I envisioned her slogging over a fire in some chawl.
Slaving for a heartless man and ungrateful children…
Her phone rang. In perfect English, she said she was on her way for the meeting.
Suddenly, I was even more pitiful.
the disease
Everything was spinning. Nothing made sense. Random images flashed in her mind. Incoherent thoughts. Logic had deserted her.
She shut her eyes tight, as if to block out disjointed images from flooding her head.
‘The tighter they shut,’ she thought, ‘the more I concentrate.’
It didn’t work. She stared blankly. She had it.
Writers Block.
She shut her eyes tight, as if to block out disjointed images from flooding her head.
‘The tighter they shut,’ she thought, ‘the more I concentrate.’
It didn’t work. She stared blankly. She had it.
Writers Block.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
insight
“I hate the way my life is turning out…you know?” she says, looking down, fidgeting with the food on her plate. “I feel so tired and old… It’s annoying…” she looks up at him across the table.
He smiles and says, “Yea I know…”
She smiles and thinks, “He’s sweet”
He smiles and thinks, “PMS...”
He smiles and says, “Yea I know…”
She smiles and thinks, “He’s sweet”
He smiles and thinks, “PMS...”
Sunday, March 11, 2007
the date
She noticed him from afar, standing by the counter buying tickets.
She smiled to herself at the way he looked over the crowd, a little frustrated – he was looking for her.
A surge of love filled her every pore, she couldn’t imagine life without him.
She walked up to him, “Hi daddy, sorry I’m late…”
She smiled to herself at the way he looked over the crowd, a little frustrated – he was looking for her.
A surge of love filled her every pore, she couldn’t imagine life without him.
She walked up to him, “Hi daddy, sorry I’m late…”
the meeting
I saw him again last night. He looked thinner than I remembered – happier too, maybe.
He didn’t notice me at first, but then I caught his eye.
I wanted him to come over and talk to me –I wished it. He didn’t.
I wanted to go over too. I didn’t.
I hate dreaming about him.
He didn’t notice me at first, but then I caught his eye.
I wanted him to come over and talk to me –I wished it. He didn’t.
I wanted to go over too. I didn’t.
I hate dreaming about him.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
retribution
“The pressure of doing something on a Friday night always got to me…” she said with a gleam in her eye, “so, now, I am…”
She watched her sitting in the chair – bound, gagged and shaking with fear, and continued to sharpen her butcher knife.
“How’s this for a Friday night plan?” she smiled madly.
She watched her sitting in the chair – bound, gagged and shaking with fear, and continued to sharpen her butcher knife.
“How’s this for a Friday night plan?” she smiled madly.
realization
6pm - The proverbial ‘Friday-night-party plans’ begin to formulate all around her.
She makes several calls-
What you doing? Oh, you busy, no just wondering – ya, for sure some other time.
Click.
Hey, we should meet up… No, no, I didn’t mean tonight...
Click.
Click.
Click.
Click.
It dawns on her. She has no friends.
She makes several calls-
What you doing? Oh, you busy, no just wondering – ya, for sure some other time.
Click.
Hey, we should meet up… No, no, I didn’t mean tonight...
Click.
Click.
Click.
Click.
It dawns on her. She has no friends.
Friday, March 9, 2007
distant love
They pass each other in the office corridor and occasionally she has the nerve to look him in the eye and nod a ‘hello’.
From a distance she watches him on the phone, almost devotedly.
She tries to suppress it, but the thought pops up yet again.
“Maybe he’d like me if I wasn’t fat”
From a distance she watches him on the phone, almost devotedly.
She tries to suppress it, but the thought pops up yet again.
“Maybe he’d like me if I wasn’t fat”
lies XI - non-fiction
He passes by her desk. She shuts the document she was typing in.
“You working on those lines, I hope.”
“Yea, I have options, I will share them with you post-lunch?”
“Yea, Lets finish it…” he mutters as he walks away.
She surreptitiously opens the word document, and continues to type another 55 fiction story.
“You working on those lines, I hope.”
“Yea, I have options, I will share them with you post-lunch?”
“Yea, Lets finish it…” he mutters as he walks away.
She surreptitiously opens the word document, and continues to type another 55 fiction story.
anti-love
She makes another one of her mother’s speciality recipes.
It smells good – so what if it’s taken over two hours of her time?
Table laid, she waits for him to walk in– any minute now.
He slams the door shut.
Walks into the bedroom saying, “I’m too tired to eat, im just gonna watch TV.”
It smells good – so what if it’s taken over two hours of her time?
Table laid, she waits for him to walk in– any minute now.
He slams the door shut.
Walks into the bedroom saying, “I’m too tired to eat, im just gonna watch TV.”
love
She tries to breathe through the smoke. Another chicken burnt to the bones.
Damn, she should’ve learnt to cook from her mother.
She opens the window to let out the smoke - he’s going to be home any minute.
He smells the smoke, and smiles, “I’m too tired to eat, let’s just watch TV, ok?”
Damn, she should’ve learnt to cook from her mother.
She opens the window to let out the smoke - he’s going to be home any minute.
He smells the smoke, and smiles, “I’m too tired to eat, let’s just watch TV, ok?”
truth vs lies
“How long has it been?”
“How long has what been?”
“Since you got laid…”
“Three years…”
“What? We gotta find you some chicks, dude!”
“Err, yea, here’s the thing… I’m gay …”
“Gay? Really…”
“This won’t affect our friendship, right?”
“Huh? Dude… of course not…” he says, as he scratches the back of his neck.
“How long has what been?”
“Since you got laid…”
“Three years…”
“What? We gotta find you some chicks, dude!”
“Err, yea, here’s the thing… I’m gay …”
“Gay? Really…”
“This won’t affect our friendship, right?”
“Huh? Dude… of course not…” he says, as he scratches the back of his neck.
Thursday, March 8, 2007
lies V
“So, how long has it been, man?”
“How long has what been?”
“Oh, come on, since you got laid, dude”
“Oh that... hah, like, three days ago, dude…”
“Really? Sweet! Who was she?”
“She...yea...she was this damn hot chick from this club...Great legs. Was all over me – couldn’t fight it man. Couldn’t fight it.”
“How long has what been?”
“Oh, come on, since you got laid, dude”
“Oh that... hah, like, three days ago, dude…”
“Really? Sweet! Who was she?”
“She...yea...she was this damn hot chick from this club...Great legs. Was all over me – couldn’t fight it man. Couldn’t fight it.”
lies III
They sit in a park, watching kids play.
She looks endearingly at him. He looks fascinated, at the children.
Without looking at her, he says, “I want to have a bunch of them, someday.”
Her hand wanders over the flat stomach she took years to attain.
Still looking at him she says, “Yeah. Me too.”
She looks endearingly at him. He looks fascinated, at the children.
Without looking at her, he says, “I want to have a bunch of them, someday.”
Her hand wanders over the flat stomach she took years to attain.
Still looking at him she says, “Yeah. Me too.”
before the afterglow
They rented Before Sunrise.
He watches it in bed with her - his girlfriend of three years.
Jesse to Celine, “I know happy couples... but I think they lie to each other”
Movie ends. He waits for his girlfriend to fall asleep.
Gets his mobile phone and texts someone- ‘Wish you were here. Goodnight.’
He watches it in bed with her - his girlfriend of three years.
Jesse to Celine, “I know happy couples... but I think they lie to each other”
Movie ends. He waits for his girlfriend to fall asleep.
Gets his mobile phone and texts someone- ‘Wish you were here. Goodnight.’
lies II
“She's a wonderful person. Hardworking, intelligent…"- I said to him – "She is one of those people who's really dedicated to what she's doing. She's good that way, I think."
His eyes continued to watch her as she walked down the corridor - "Yeah, she's got great breasts too…"
"Really?" I said questioningly, "I hadn't noticed."
His eyes continued to watch her as she walked down the corridor - "Yeah, she's got great breasts too…"
"Really?" I said questioningly, "I hadn't noticed."
lies- I
So what if we are colleagues?
It’s not that bad, really.
So what if we’ve had a past, but don’t have a future?
It’s not that bad, really.
So, we’ve made love? So what if you don’t look at me anymore.
So what, if whenever you walk by, I crumble?
It’s not that bad. Really.
It’s not that bad, really.
So what if we’ve had a past, but don’t have a future?
It’s not that bad, really.
So, we’ve made love? So what if you don’t look at me anymore.
So what, if whenever you walk by, I crumble?
It’s not that bad. Really.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
